It almost came out as a coarse whisper and my mouth felt dry. It was as if my gut rose up to my throat after my difficult attempt to keep myself intact.
We were face to face at arm-length distance; carefully balancing the situation, weighing what was the next thing to do after we decided to break up.
I was torn between wanting to hug you tightly and wanting to turn back and just walk away. We stayed like that until we almost turned our back at the same time, and silently parted ways.
Goodbye because we’re already too dysfunctional to go on. We’re both toxic and to stay in our relationship would mean poison in both our lives. That was the end of our line. We could not go any farther than where we were. We loved each other but it was not enough. Love was not enough.
Goodbye felt like a dagger to my chest. A timed bomb announcing the very last second, until it burst into little shrapnel. It felt like that, at least.
At first, I thought I can’t go on a single day without you; without us. Until days, months, years passed by and I got used to a life without you or us. I’ve learned that things happen. Good things end so we could make way for better things to come.
There is “Good” in Goodbye. It actually marked a new beginning, a new hello. Although goodbye seemed to be the hardest word, the most painful sound, it does not last forever.
Because, here we are, facing each other again; smiling our hearts out at the sweetest hello. Thought I would never be able to get over at the lingering pain of goodbye, but hey, here we are! Hello – for the second time around.
I wrote this in memory of my first love my feelings for my first love. After our break up some years ago, I was wishing we had a second chance. I wished we had a second Hello but it never happened. No more bitter feelings anyway. That was once upon a time. We both have our lives now and happy with our relationships. Last time I heard about him, he and his girlfriend are planning to get married this year. Well, I’m wishing them the best.